A: Yes, but they only receive a few shows. You can watch Mork and Mindy, X-Files, Bowling For Dollars, The Gong Show, and the whole UPN network.
A: It's not the best place in the world. I would take them out and put them on a shelf somewhere.
A: A number of experiments have been conducted in this area with laboratory animals, but the evidence is still inconclusive. One group experimented with teenage mice, subjecting them to watching the equivalent of 25 year's worth of soap operas. Only 3 percent of the mice developed any cancerous condition, but the rest of them became terminally insane. On the other hand, a group of older monkeys watching pro football for the equilvalent period had no problems. If you feel insecure, wear an asbestos-lined suit.
A: Sure. You can do anything if you want if you have the money.
A: I don't honestly know. It could be a number of things. I'll have to take it back to the shop.
A: If your set is working fine, than leave them alone.
A: I can't endorse any specific brands in the magazine, but if you come over to the office, we can talk about a nice deal on a very good one I want to sell myself. OK?
A: You would need a special hookup for that which involves buying a three-stage converter box and a roof antenna. The converter box is made in Demnark at the moment and costs $203,000. There's been some talk of new converter boxes on the market for as little as $39, but I think it's just a rumor.
A: Of course. That's what mirrors are for. Just set up your mirrors so that they reflect what's on the TV screen. If there are any obstructions...demolish them!
A: Yeah, I suppose you can, but why anyway when Betamax has joined them in format heaven. It's almost easier to convert yourself to Judaism by comparison.
A: Sure. You'll need a cable program box, a few adaptors and converters, and a lot of wire if you want to walk around. You may look into getting satellite TV instead. Just install a dish on your head, install a converter box on your stomach, wire them all together with the TV watch, and pay the programmers to start your subscription!
A: About 90 minutes in SLP mode or 30 in SP mode. No wonder VHS won out. You can tape a football doubleheader on one tape barring overtime.
A: Sure they can. Just tell them to put channel 7 on cable 39, 8 on cable 30, and 5 on cable 69 just to straighten things out.
A: Actually, we'll all be better off if you enroll your TV set to Harvard and have it get an education on every subject possible. That should work.
A: No coincidence. There's a FCC rule that specifies what channels are in what order on all TV sets, just in case you need to get from channel 7 to 8 in a big hurry. Makes things easier, eh?
A: No, you'd have to get satellite dishes that are elliptical in a 2:1 ratio in order to get true HDTV. The picture gets wider on the screen. The only problem is that this method puts on 200 pounds on every person.
A: You could try that, but then again, you would see FBI agents eventually, so be careful what you steal.
A: Seems cable has a strange way of placing TV channels. You should contact them to straighten up their act.
A: You could try it, but proceed with caution, and don't play your homemade family movies while broadcasting or other embarrassing stuff. Be careful with HBO though.
A: Sure. Just hook up an FM antenna, and keep clicking your TV until you get to the 88.1-107.9 range. That should do it.
A: Oh man, why did you spend all that money on that measly TV set? You got ripped off man! I could have gone to Mexico for $500 and got a 45-inch HDTV-ready color TV for you wholesale. Next time, give me the money and I'll get the TV for you, alright?
A: I believe all TV sets are born that way. They all have the same plugs. It doesn't matter what make or model you can connect two TV sets with patch wire. TV is a gay-friendly medium, no less.
A: Simple. Open up the VCR. Open up the converter box. Shove the converter into the VCR. Connect the wires to the chassis. Plug it in. Voila. You've got...nothing! Take your VCR back and ask the technician to put pay decoding capabilities in the VCR or else it isn't worth its weight in salt.
A: Watch channel two half the time.
A: Wait until your dog hiccups. Then you'll get a different channel every time.
A: You must have been watching American Pie too many times. You might be able to get a few local stations, but mostly content rated TV-MA.